Open relationships sound exciting to some — and absolutely terrifying to others. But what really happens when you open up your marriage? Can it save your relationship… or destroy it?

In this episode, I sit down with Kelvin Pace, a licensed professional counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and former Army medic turned intimacy expert. Kelvin brings courage, compassion, and clinical insight to one of the most misunderstood topics in modern relationships — consensual non-monogamy.

We talk about what it means to open a marriage consciously and ethically, how to navigate jealousy without shame, and why community and communication matter more than ever. Kelvin also shares how mindfulness and sensate focus can help couples reconnect with pleasure — without the pressure of performance.

If you’ve ever wondered whether open relationships can actually work — or what it takes to make them work — this conversation will challenge your assumptions and maybe even your boundaries.

Timestamps:

00:00 – What really happens when you open your marriage?

00:43 – Meet Kelvin Pace

02:06 – Sex surrogates and sensate focus explained

04:11 – How mindfulness changes sex

06:56 – Defining open relationships and polyamory

08:46 – The myth of compersion and toxic non-monogamy

10:31 – Managing jealousy and emotional regulation

12:46 – Stay tuned for part 2!

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Kelvin Pace graduated with a master’s in clinical psychology from the University of Alaska Anchorage in 2009. He is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor.

He is the owner of KpaceCounseling, LLC in Anchorage, Alaska. Kelvin works with couples and individuals dealing with sexual or relationship issues that include low desire, anxiety surrounding sex, and infidelity. His current focus is on mindfulness-based interventions to manage sexual concerns, working with individuals and couples either in or looking to explore non-traditional relationship orientations such as consensual/ethical non-monogamy.

Connect with Kelvin Pace:

Website: kpacecounseling.net

Instagram: @kpace37

Facebook: @kpacecounselingLLC

Phone: 907-519-2989

Email: kpacecounseling@gmail.com

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.